rest in peaces

i know i havent posted in a while, and im sorry life has been hectic lately, and i honestly haven't felt the need to write until just now. this last week has been a very long one, mainly because i've been getting bad dreams, and overall a bad feeling. do you know that feeling in your gut where you just know something is going to happen, you can just feel it, you just don't know when or what. this last week it has been happening to me. maybe thats the reason for me always staring off into space who knows. i was right, and i dont want to explain, its just something happened that i thought was over, and now it won't be done for another five to ten years. its going to effect my parents life greatly, and when it effects them it effects me. they go and visit him some, and i'm happy that they are, it's just i really don't want to go and visit him, but i know if i do that i wont see him for a long time. i dont know what to do, my gut says one thing, but logically it says another. i know that who ever is reading is probably confused, its just i need to write, and i need to let this out i just dont want to explain the whole story, its too complicated for me to rewrite, and some how explain in my head.