Saturday, October 10, 2009

remember the name

the past always comes back. it is something i have learned these past few days. one of the things that i have tried to forget, and for a long time i did forget. forgetting is an amazing thing, you never have to deal with the reasons behind forgetting. you just simply cant remember making you think everything is okay, even though it isnt. recently i remembered a guy that i fell in love with, even though i didnt know what love was then. i remember things like jealously, and running to him after summer vacation. i remember these things and yet i forget. cole is this guy, that now i cant get out of my mind.

sadly, this is now affecting my life, i think this is why i originally forget. it hurt so bad the day he told me he couldn't see me anymore. maybe thats why i forgot, to forget the pain. its affecting my life in the way that i cant have relationships with any guy, because i remember the feelings i had for cole. he was my bestfriend for four years, and now i want to find him, even though he may or may not remember me, or even wants to talk to me. i want him back, but i know that its not going to be what i pictured, it never is, because they are only dreams, and dreams like these rarely come true.

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