Friday, October 2, 2009

our song, i think

i hate hormones. right now everyday is changing with me one day i like this guy, because i think hes hot, and i just want that feeling, but the next day i look at him and dont know what i saw. like today my friend was talking about liking this guy, and another, and another, and im just thinking wow i dont even like anyone. i must be sad or really picky. for a few years i havent really liked the guys i saw because none of them have the right body style, even if that is petty of me. the body style i want is something you dont see everyday, which makes it so hard to axually like anyone. the guy i like is alot like the ones from the army, there tall they have muscles and they have a rough exterior like me. sadly i am one girl who likes alot of old fashioned stuff, i like it when guys show that everything is okay, that they can make me feel safe. it is what i want, but when i say it in my head, it sounds so petty.i want to love someone, i want to feel safe i want to say to someone he's mine, like he is going to do anything for me, but you cant ever have all of that together. maybe i am too picky. maybe i should just face it, its easier being on my own, but its what i crave, and when you dont feel safe, you crave it even more. i read the stories online all the time about love and procteviness, and the only thing that happened was i didnt believe it existed, ever. but somehow it has to right?

1 comment:

Victoria said...

it does, and like i tell you, youll find that guy eventually. hes somwhere hiding behind all of the bastards that are out there that you see now.

and i want to get this in writing; (which probably isnt the best thing, but who really reads this anyway??)
*him: hes a hot emo guy. i dont necessarily like him, hes just kinda there, y'know?
*that dude: hes just kind of there too. really smart, thats why i like him, and plays like 5 instruments, i love that! (:
*the other guy: id rather not explain that.

and you are picky, but in a really good way. like, you wouldnt just go out with the first guy that notices you. but anywho, you can all that, just give it time. i know it sucks, but itll be worth it when everything works out.
(im in a very optimistic high on life sleep deprived mood right now. so dont use my crap against me when i say everything works out in the end, because knowing you you will.)

:P